10 Ways to Know When a Relationship Is Really Over

Published August 27, 2020
couple arguing in the living room

Many people wonder, how do you know when a relationship is really over? If you aren't feeling happy with your relationship, take some time to examine if there are any warning signs that your relationship is close to coming to an end.

How Do You Know When a Relationship Is Really Over?

Relationships take a lot of work, and some couples experience difficulty maintaining the health of their partnership for various reasons. In general, there are many warning signs to look out for that could mean that a breakup is close by.

You Dread Being Together

If you feel anxiety, dread, nervousness, or fear about being with your partner, it's a good sign that your gut is telling you that this relationship isn't working for you right now. Avoiding each other indicates on an unconscious level that you don't want to connect or support one another. Know that fearing your partner is definitely a sign of an unhealthy relationship and that you should never fear for your emotional or physical safety.

You've Stopped Resolving Issues

Resolving issues can bring couples closer together and improve intimacy levels, as well as increase mutual trust. Actively working on resolving issues means that you care about each other's wellbeing and want to meet each other's needs. When this stops, it can be really difficult to continue maintaining a healthy relationship. One or both of you may become complacent and just adjust to what your relationship's new normal is, which doesn't include meeting each other's needs.

Your Communication Has Decreased

Communication is one of the most important aspects of maintaining a healthy relationship. When one or both of you no longer want to open up, discuss your day, and support each other through challenging times, it can mean that the relationship is no longer operating on the healthiest level.

You Bicker Often

Bickering often, nitpicking, and/or criticizing without resolving how that makes each of you feel can mean that the relationship is nearing its end. When one or both of you no longer cares about how your behavior impacts your partner, the relationship's health plummets.

You're No Longer Physically Connecting

Physical connection in any form is an important aspect in many relationships. Physical connection can trigger feelings of closeness, love, and safety between you and your partner. If you no longer want to touch your partner or feel like your partner doesn't want to physically connect with you, this is a big warning sign that something in the relationship is amiss.

couple relationship difficulties

You Wonder About Being Alone or With Someone Else

Finding your mind wandering more often than not about being alone or with another partner is not a good sign that you want to make your current relationship work. While fantasy here and there is totally normal, pervasive thoughts about being alone or with someone else may be your gut telling you to move on.

You Don't See Your Partner in Your Future

If you can't imagine your partner in your future, chances are you're having a hard time seeing them fitting in there. While this alone doesn't mean that your relationship is over, when compounded with other factors, it can mean that you aren't sure of your current relationship.

You Don't Feel Heard

Feeling heard means that your partner not only listens to you, but understands what you are saying so they can take it into account. If you don't feel heard and feel as if you are constantly asking for certain needs to be met, you may grow resentful, and eventually decide that you two are not compatible.

Your Relational Goals Don't Align

Having compatible relational goals is a crucial part of having a healthy relationship that has the potential to last. If one or both of you don't agree on where you see the relationship going, or the pace of the relationship, and you can't come to an agreement, you may end up breaking up.

You Don't Want to Seek Help

Couples who are committed to each other but are having difficulty figuring out how to resolve their issues may consider seeking out a couple's counselor to help them. If one or both partners refuse to seek outside help, and no other attempts have been made to improve the relationship, the relationship may not continue on for much longer.

Signs Your Relationship Is Over

While it can feel difficult to grapple with your relationship not working out, know that it takes an equal effort from both partners to maintain a healthy relationship and if you and/or your partner aren't motivated to make a solid effort, you may not be the best fit for each other.

10 Ways to Know When a Relationship Is Really Over