How to Write an Apology Letter for Cheating

Updated September 12, 2018
Fountain pen with notepads

You've betrayed your loved one and now you want to express how sorry you are, but you're unsure on how to write an apology letter for cheating. This article will take you step by step in writing a letter that will explain yourself and show how truly regretful you are about what you did.

Before You Start

The first thing you need to do is think about what happened and how it happened. Don't only think about the actions that took place, but also how you got to that point emotionally where you now need to issue an apology for cheating. You may have started up a relationship with a co-worker, a friend became too close, or you drank too much and had a one night stand. Whatever scenario took place, you will need to understand what led you to the betrayal.

The second thing you need to think about is whether you want the apology letter for cheating to be a plea to keep the relationship going or just for the person's forgiveness so you can both move on with some closure. If you have already told your loved one about what happened but he or she is not interested in taking you back, an apology letter may not be enough to win that person's affection back. Trust has been broken and it can be the one of the hardest things to get back.

How to Write an Apology Letter for Cheating

Here is your step-by-step guide to writing an apology letter to your loved one.

Step One

Decide how you want to greet or reference the person such as, 'Dear Sweetie' or 'Dear'…followed by the person's name.

Step Two

Start out gentle because you need to keep the person reading. The person may not want to read the rest of it if you start offending with statements about him or her not understanding what happened or that he or she is being irrational. One of the best ways to start a letter like this is to apologize.

Step Three

When you apologize, do it from the heart. This means you will have to regret what you have done. Talk about how you wish it never happened and if you could, you would take it back. Let the person know how regretful you really are about it.

Step Four

After the apology, express how much the person means to you. Even if the relationship is not going to continue, you might still have some feelings towards the person, which you would like him or her to know about.

Step Five

The final part of your letter discusses where you would like to go from here. If you would like to try to make the relationship work, you can write about how you understand how you have betrayed the person's trust and it may take a long time before that trust will return. Make a point to say that you will stay by the person for as long as he or she needs to and do whatever it takes to rebuild the relationship.

If the relationship has ended, let the person know you hope he or she finds happiness and love with someone else who will not deceive him or her as you have. This will show your maturity as well as give the person a sense of closure.

Sample Apology Letters

If you're still having a difficult time coming up with the right words for your apology letters, have a look at one of the sample letters provided here. The first letter is worded for a situation where your hope is to stay together, while the second letter features verbiage appropriate for the ending of the relationship. If you need help with these letters, check out LoveToKnow's Guide for Adobe Printables.

What NOT to Write


  • Give the person full details of what happened. It will only infuriate the person further.
  • Provide reasons for what you have done. There is no valid reason for you to cheat on someone.
  • Blame the person for your betrayal.
  • Write a letter letting the person know how horrible of a person he or she is because you may have to deal with that person later in life.
  • Write about what the cheating has done to you emotionally. You won't receive pity for what you have done and probably will just make the person resent you more.

Moving On

Now that you have written your apology and sent it to the person, it's time for you to move on as well, whether it is in the relationship or with someone else. Take time to reflect about what happened and learn from it; the next time you are in a relationship, you may think twice about cheating.

How to Write an Apology Letter for Cheating