Can You Tell if a Girl Is Still a Virgin?

Virginity is a deeply personal matter to some people, so an honest, respectful conversation is the best way to go here.

Updated October 27, 2018
He is telling if she is still a virgin

Virginity can be very important to some cultures and religions. There are also several myths that surround how to tell if a girl is a virgin. Learn how to separate the myth from the fact, and find out the best way to learn if she is a virgin.

Can You Actually Tell If a Girl Is Still a Virgin?

Despite a lot of the myths out there about virginity, if you are wondering how you can tell if a girl is still a virgin, the only way to know for sure is to ask her. This is also true if you want to know if a boy is still a virgin. Despite the fact that her answer is the only way to know, there are still a lot of cultures that believe you can tell if a girl is a virgin.

Doctor Exam Myth

Some people believe that an in-depth vaginal exam by a medical professional can confirm whether a girl is a virgin. But, not even an examination by a doctor can confirm if a girl has had sex in the past. The same is true for guys. Don't fool yourself into trying some sort of trick or evaluation. Everyone's bodies are so different, there is really no for sure way to know unless a girl tells you the honest truth.

Intact Hymen Myth

One myth is that if a girl's hymen is intact, she is still a virgin. The hymen is a thin mucous membrane of skin that surrounds or partially covers the opening to the vagina. During sexual intercourse the hymen can sometimes break and tear, causing some pain and light bleeding, but many girls don't have this happen at all. The hymen can also break through a lot of other means, such as vigorous sports like bike riding or gymnastics, using tampons, or through growth and development of her body. Some girls never have their hymen break at all.

Bleeding After First Time Myth

Some people believe that all girls will bleed the first time they have sex. This is a myth and really depends on a girl's physical makeup, her level of arousal, and other factors like using lubricants. If a girl's hymen has already been stretched through the use of tampons or even masturbation, there is less risk of bleeding during first intercourse. Each girl is also born with a unique hymen and vagina as each boy has a unique penis. Some girls will bleed when they lose their virginity while others will not.

Other Myths About Virginity

Here are some other myths about virginity:

Teenage couple kissing
  • Once you are a certain age, you likely have had sex. This is not true to any extent. Some girls and guys don't lose their virginity until they are well into adulthood while others have it happen earlier.
  • A girl looks different after she has sex. Girls who are sexually active look exactly like girls who are virgins. There is no way to know by looking at her (i.e., her breasts don't grow larger, she doesn't walk any different, etc.).
  • A girl who is a virgin is shy or a prude. Many guys and girls would be surprised at which people are virgins and which are not. Many girls who date a lot, have boyfriends and are known as flirts are still virgins.
  • A girl will seem to know more about sex after losing her virginity. While some behaviors may change after one has had sex, this is not the same for everyone. This is especially true after the first time as there are so many unknowns about sex until you have been having sex for a long time.

Tips for Approaching a Girl About Her Virginity

Sexual experiences are deeply personal for girls, so be respectful and patient in approaching the subject of virginity.

Keep in mind there is nothing wrong with remaining a virgin. Sex for the first time can be wonderful as long as you are ready, both physically and emotionally. This might mean waiting until after marriage or until you are in a trusting, stable, and loving relationship.

  • Don't rush it: Go slow about talking about sex, especially if you suspect it is a girl's first time. This is not a time to rush into sex. Be patient and make sure you are totally comfortable and ready.
  • Use lubrication: If you suspect a girl is a virgin, using a personal lubricant can also help make sex more pleasant.
  • Wear a condom: Using a condom is not only a way to prevent pregnancy, but it's also important for protection from STDs. If you are going to be sexually active, make sure you have condoms or another form of birth control ready. Also, be ready to put on a condom early. Don't wait until after penetration; it's not worth the risk.
  • Take it slow: If you're concerned about painful sex or blood, take it slowly the first time and consider putting a towel under you. Sex can be messy, but you will enjoy it more if you are prepared.

Dealing With First Time Sex

As you can see, answering the question about how can you tell if a girl is still a virgin, is a very personal one. The answer may be just as private as what goes on during sex. Losing your virginity may be slightly uncomfortable or painful, or there may be no discomfort at all. Certain positions can be more or less comfortable, so experimenting with what feels good for her can make the experience better for both people. Feeling relaxed can help ease nerves and reduce the possibility of pain.

Can You Tell if a Girl Is Still a Virgin?