How to Get to Know Someone Better Over Text

Published February 23, 2019
Young man sending text

Texting can be a great way to get to know someone a bit better. There are tons of ways to get the conversation going and figure out if you two are a good match.

Getting to Know Each Other

Texting is a quick and easy way to get to know your partner or a potential partner. Texting can be super useful if you both have busy schedules but want to keep in touch and continue getting to know each other before your next date.

Family Related Questions

Knowing a little about your partner's relationships with their family can give you a wealth of information regarding their ability to maintain relationships, deal with conflict, and communicate effectively. You can ask:

  • "What was it like growing up in your house?"
  • "How were conflicts typically dealt with?"
  • "Who is the most outspoken person in your family?"
  • "What was a typical day like for you growing up?"
  • "What family traditions were your favorite and why?"
  • "Who do you get along the best within your family?"
  • "How often do you speak with your family members?"
  • "How does your family typically communicate their feelings?"

Find Out About Interests

Young hiking couple

It's important to have some common interests with your partner. Texting is an awesome way to see if your interests match up. Try asking:

  • "What's your favorite way to spend your time on the weekend?"
  • "Is there a hobby or activity that you've participated in long term?"
  • "Do you typically like to spend time alone, or with others?"
  • "What are your top three favorite things to do when you have free time?"
  • "Do you like trying new activities?"
  • "What have you done that's outside your comfort zone?"

Uncover Dislikes

Dislikes can include anything from least favorite activities to personality traits that your partner finds incompatible with theirs. Try inquiring about:

  • "What's the grossest meal you've ever had?"
  • "Which types of foods do you find off-putting?"
  • "Do you have any pet peeves?"
  • "What are your least favorite personality traits?"
  • "Are there any hobbies or activities that you will avoid at all costs?"

Discuss Future Plans and Goals

Talking about what your partner is planning on for their future can tell you loads of information about their motivation, planning preferences, and whether they are goal oriented. You can ask:

  • "Where would you like to be in the next five years?"
  • "Do you want to eventually have kids?"
  • "What are your thoughts on marriage?"
  • "What's your dream job?"
  • "Where do you see yourself living?"
  • "Do you plan on traveling in the future?"
  • "Do you plan on attending more school?"
  • "What are you looking forward to the most in the next upcoming year?"

Learn About Their Personality

Finding out more information about your partner or potential partner's personality lets you figure out who they really are as a person. This can help you decide if you would work well together, or if there are other traits that you'd prefer in a partner. You can ask:

  • "Are you a morning person or night owl?"
  • "What's your morning routine like?"
  • "How long does it take you to warm up in new relationships?"
  • "Do you tend to be more extroverted or introverted?"
  • "What makes you feel energized?"
  • "What's the biggest adventure you've been on so far?"
  • "Do you think quietly to yourself before you answer a question, or do you tend to talk through your answer aloud?"
  • "What's your favorite book and why?"
  • "What do you do when you're upset with someone?"
  • "How do you express love?"
  • "What does an ideal day for you look like?"
  • "Do you like to go out, or do you prefer to stay in?"
  • "Do you tend to jump from relationship to relationship?"

What to Avoid

If you are just getting to know someone, it's best to save the more intimate questions until later. These can include more serious family-related questions and more in-depth details about their past relationships. You can always ask more general questions related to these subjects and save the more private questions for an in-person date later on.

You can also avoid using super formal language and can shorthand, abbreviate, or use emojis to emphasize your question's tone. In this way, you can personalize your text so your partner gets to know your personality as well.

Having Fun Learning About Your Partner

Texting is a more relaxed way to find out about someone you are interested in or have just started dating. Asking insightful questions can help you figure out if your partner or potential partner is the best fit for you.

How to Get to Know Someone Better Over Text