How to Talk About Yourself in a Confident & Relatable Way

Published June 18, 2021
women discussing with female colleague in office

One of the challenges of being an adult is figuring out how to talk about yourself confidently, without sounding arrogant or evasive. Whether it's for a job interview, or you're getting to know a new partner, you want to land in that sweet spot of talking about your accomplishments and personality with self-assured confidence. Talking about yourself doesn't have to feel strange, but if you struggle with telling people about how amazing you really are, check out these useful tips.

Enough About Me, What About You?

Most people don't like talking about themselves. You often hear "enough about me, what about you" thrown around in conversations, because a lot of people aren't sure about how to talk about themselves, or what they should or shouldn't mention. This insecurity is most apparent when people are in a job interview or getting to know a potential romantic partner. With both scenarios, you want to communicate all the nuances that make you unique, but many people have a fear of sounding like they're bragging, or a concern that they won't seem interesting enough. It's time to shed that insecurity with these helpful tools:

1. Ask Your Friends and Family to Describe You

Introspection doesn't come easily to everyone. Some people don't know how to articulate their motives, their actions, and their morals. If you experience this hardship, then a great way to get started is to ask your friends and family members to describe you. Having an outsider's point-of-view can tell you which of your attributes and characteristics people respond to and enjoy the most. Such traits as loyalty, emotional sensitivity, kindness, and strength will come through in their explanations; and you can collect this information to use later when you need to.

2. Practice, Practice, Practice

It may seem absolutely ridiculous, but you should practice talking about yourself before you start rambling. The last thing you want to do is stumble into a conversation where you mention that one time you accidentally killed your neighbor's goldfish, and really all the other person wanted to know was how you handle stressful situations. Practice making a mental map of the important pieces of your personality and life, so when it comes time to mention them, the particulars will be right there.

Woman record on camera at home

3. Make a List of Things You Want to Know

If you don't quite understand where to start when you're talking about yourself, try making a list of the top five things you want to know about someone you've never met. Chances are that the things you want to know are the same things other people will want to know about you. Some examples include your own favorite personality trait or your proudest accomplishment.

4. Avoid Bragging

Bragging can be the final nail in your coffin when you're talking about yourself. No one likes a bragger, so you need to be careful about how you word your accomplishments. This isn't to say that you shouldn't mention some big projects you've worked on in the past, or vacations you've been privileged enough to take; rather, you should only mention them if there's a moral to your story. For instance, mentioning that you take a couple of weeks every summer to vacation in the Galapagos doesn't give any information about who you are, just that you can visit exotic locales. However, mentioning that you visit the Galapagos each summer to work on animal conservation, shows that you're environmentally conscious and sensitive to life on Earth.

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5. Be Vulnerable

Talking about yourself means letting people see the entire you, both your best qualities and the ones that you're trying to work on. No one is a robot, and people don't want you to act like your whole life has been blessed with incredible days. Think about some of your shortcomings or hard situations that you've been through, and see which ones you'd be willing to share with someone. Opening yourself up to being vulnerable can show that you're really invested in working on recognizing your past mistakes and learning from them.

6. Most Importantly, Be Authentic

Above all else, when you're talking about yourself, always be authentic. Don't mention that you're a thrill-seeker if the craziest thing you've done is jay-walk across a busy street. You're not trying to sell a product of what you think the person you're talking to wants, you're telling the story of your identity. That can look like humor, sarcasm, wit, sincerity, and bubbliness. Authenticity is magnetic, and being brave enough to be exactly who you are is the definition of modern confidence.

woman talking with her friends

Be Proud of Who You Are

In this case, pride isn't a cardinal sin. You need to be proud of who you are to speak convincingly about yourself with confidence. Don't self-sabotage by thinking that you're boring or nothing special when entering a situation where you have to talk about yourself. If you don't believe you're an interesting person, then no one else is going to believe it either. Turn to these helpful tips and you'll be speaking confidently about yourself in no time.

How to Talk About Yourself in a Confident & Relatable Way