How to Ask a Guy to Prom Without Stressing About It

Take charge with these helpful tips for confidently asking a guy to prom.

Updated March 17, 2023
Girl asking guy to prom

Trends are constantly changing, and right now, no one gender corners the market on asking people to prom. In a way, this puts everyone on equally unnerving footing as they scramble to work up the nerve to pop the question. Don't psych yourself out because of the hype. Instead, learn how to ask a guy to prom the painless way with these helpful tips.

Real-Life Tips for Asking a Guy to Prom

Putting yourself out there for anything with serious stakes is one of the hardest things you can do as a person, and asking a guy to prom can feel like it carries the same weight as a marriage proposal.

While we know you can't prepare for the answer, you can do your best to come out confidently swinging. For guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, these tips will help you navigate those pre-prom jitters with charisma and grace.

Friends enjoying their weekend near a lake

Gauge His Interest

You never want to catch someone out of the blue with a serious question. So, don't go up to him in the middle of a science worksheet and ask him to prom. Start a conversation about the dance with him to gauge his interest in going.

This way, if he says no when you ask him to prom, you'll have an inkling that it's less about you and more about him not wanting to go at all. If he's positive about looking forward to prom, then you know you're set to move forward with asking him to go with you.

Make Sure He's Available

Before you ask a guy to prom, you should also make sure they're available for the event. You can literally start a conversation with "have you found a date to prom yet?" because you'll want the floor to swallow you if you ask them to prom, only to have them respond that they're already going with someone else.

Because it's worse to think that it might've just been your timing that made them go with someone else and not because they're not interested in you, save yourself the agony and double check their prom status first.

If You're Feeling Confident, Go Ahead and Ask

If you feel comfortable in your environment and think the conversation's going well, now's the time to rip the band-aid off and ask him. You don't need to mince words with this one. A simple "I was wondering if you'd like to go to prom with me" will do.

Just make sure that you're being direct about what you're asking and not all over the place. He can't read your thoughts (even though it'd make the whole thing so much easier), so you'll have to spell it out for him.

If You're Close, Ask a Guy Over Text

The first text you send to a new person shouldn't be one asking them to prom, so we suggest that you save any prom invite texts for people you're already friendly with. There are two main approaches on how to ask a guy to prom over text: the bulldozer or the slow and steady.

With a bulldozer approach, you're just coming right out and asking them to prom with no lead-up. If you have a direct personality and it's true to your nature, this style can work great for you.

But if you're a bit more nervous, and don't want to jump right into anything, you can coax him towards the prom conversation by mentioning something prom related (looking for an outfit, asking about prom court predictions, etc). From there, you can segue into asking him to go with you.

If You're Really Nervous Have a Friend Ask

Probably the easiest way for you to ask a guy to prom is not to ask him yourself, but to have a close friend ask instead. Some guys'll find it endearing that you're so nervous about it, but it might not end up working out to your advantage.

Be Upfront If You're Asking a Guy as a Friend

Whether you've been longtime friends or have just started to get to know each other, asking a guy as a friend is totally acceptable. If you're wondering how to ask a guy to prom as friends, there's really no right or wrong. The main thing is that you're upfront and honest that you want to go as friends. That way they won't feel awkward wondering if you have a romantic interest in them.

How to Feel More Confident When You Ask a Guy to Prom

For many schools, prom's the most important event of the year and that means that the stakes are really high for finding the perfect person to go with. Whether you've got your sights on someone new or want to take an old friend, these tips will help you feel fearless enough to jump headfirst into the conversation.

Friends walking to school together & laughing

Practice What You Want to Say

Every teen movie has its obligatory 'mirror rehearsal' scene where the main character practices something important, but this quirky character trait isn't just for the fictional lads and lasses; it's for you real people too. If you practice how you want to ask someone to prom a few times before you take the plunge, you'll feel more prepared and confident.

It's like anything you practice multiple times; you probably weren't very comfortable backing into your parking space until you'd tried it over and over again. It might feel a little cringe when you're doing it, but it'll actually make a difference in how comfortable you are when the time comes.

Don't Ask in Front of an Audience

Plays and musicals are meant to be witnessed by an audience, but asking a guy to the prom isn't. Don't torture yourself by shouting your ask out the first chance you see them the day after you've made up your mind. We all know how the jitters can make you do silly things, but you're only going to feel so much pressure when you've got a crowd of people standing around you both.

Mentally Prepare Yourself for Rejection

Everyone experiences rejection at some point in their lives, and it could very well happen to you with your first prom pick. In hindsight, you'll realize the stakes really aren't as high as they feel in high school, but in the meantime, you should take a day or two to really internalize the idea that they might say no. If you've accepted the possibility and thought about what kinds of emotions it'll bring up, you'll feel better prepared should it actually happen.

Picking a Prom Date Doesn't Have to Be Scary

Teen movies and shows have immortalized prom in this mythological way that makes asking someone to the dance feel so intimidating. Just remember that everyone around you is probably just as nervous about finding the perfect person to take as you are. The point of prom is to have fun, and if the guy you're asking recognizes just how much fun you are, there's no chance that he'll say no.

How to Ask a Guy to Prom Without Stressing About It