Best Short Jokes Ever

Updated May 14, 2018
woman laughing at text message

Short jokes provide laughter and amusement. They can be a witticism, a brief ridiculous narrative with a humorous twist, or a question whose answer is the punch line. Everyone's sense of humor is different. Any list of best short jokes is going to be subjective, but those below are likely to give you a laugh and brighten your day.

1. Hilarious Lawyer Joke

A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks, "How much do you charge?"
The lawyer says, "$5,000 for three questions."
"Wow, that's pretty expensive, isn't it?" The man asks.
"Yes," says the lawyer. "Now, what's your third question?"

Doesn't everyone love to have some fun and laughs at a lawyer's expense?

2. A Short History of Medicine

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

This short joke is a witty way of saying "Everything Old Is New Again."


3. The Things Kids Say

Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy.

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"

"Sure do! Fifteen-hundred bucks and that doesn't include the anesthesiologist!"

A young child can say the most amusing thing when they confuse one thing with another.

4. Trick Question

Question: Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mount Everest was still the highest even though it had not been discovered.

Trick questions are always a fun and entertaining source of humor.

5. Best Blonde Joke

What did the blonde say after glimpsing a box of Cheerios?
"OMG! Donut seeds!"

Dumb blonde jokes are some of the best short jokes because the punchline catches you by surprise.


6. Funny Love Joke

What's the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, and marriage is an eye-opener!

Every married person can appreciate the fact that there are times in a marriage when reality bites!

7. College Humor

What's the definition of an optimist?
A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.

This joke will make you chucked at how easy it is for a college student to forget how much money they've spent studying at Starbucks.

8. Pet Lover Laughs

How can you tell if someone is a dog person?
Their trash can is almost permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while they're at work.

All dog people love dog quips that make them laugh at themselves.


9. Classic Knock-Knock Joke

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Art who?
R2-D2, of course.

What's not to like about a short crazy Knock-Knock joke?

10. Cops and Robbers

Where did you get that gold watch?
I won it in a race.
How many people participated in the race?
Three: a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!

Crazy cops and robber jokes are always fun.

11. Best Chicken-Crossing-the-Road Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road also gazes across you.

This chicken and the road joke is just plain funny because speaking philosophically, one of the simplest questions of all time has no straightforward answer.


12. Funny Figures of Speech

One windmill asked another: "What's you're favorite music?
The other one replied, "I'm a big metal fan."

This short joke is an excellent example of the humorous use of words that have more than one meaning.

Best Short Jokes Ever