How to Ask for a Second Date at the Right Time

Published August 31, 2020
Teenage couple on a second date

Knowing how to ask for a second date is all about timing. You may have an instinctual feeling, or you may want to use a few helpful tips to gauge when the time is right to ask for a second date.

How to Ask for a Second Date

Your personality should always be front and center when interacting with your date. Allow the other person to get to know you and vice versa.

Self-Confidence to Win a Second Date

Being a self-confident person will put your date at ease. Self-confidence conveys an individual strength of character, which is always an attractive attribute when tempered with humility.

A few examples of how to ask for a second date with self-confidence include:

  • "I really like your adventurous spirit and that you like having fun. I'm thinking we would have a lot of fun at the water park on Saturday. What do you think?"
  • "I had a lot of fun being with you the other night. Maybe we could do it again on Friday night. I know a great restaurant I think you'll like."
  • "It was great fun watching the movie with you. There's no sequel yet, but while we wait, we could try something different like the town festival on Saturday afternoon."

Be Fun and Joke Around

Humor is a great ice breaker and immediately puts the other person at ease. Humor telegraphs that you're accepting and open. If humor isn't a natural attribute, you can tell a funny story or even a joke. However, you want to use a little finesse so it doesn't appear like you're just inserting a joke into the conversation.

You can provide a little chuckle with a one liner or joke, such as:

  • "I have to admit something to you. I was the one that let the dogs out."
  • "I thought we could go to a new restaurant called Karma. They don't give you a menu, though. You end of getting what you deserve."
  • "I have to warn you about something I discovered about atoms. You can't trust them. They make up everything."
woman talking on cell phone

Keep Things Casual

Keep the conversation casual and avoid any type of controversial topics. You want a pleasant, easy exchange to lead in asking for a second date. Talk about the things you have in common as a segue to arranging a second date.

  • "You mentioned you like art. Do you have a favorite artist or style? I'm asking because there's a new exhibit at the downtown gallery, and I thought we could go this weekend to check it out."
  • "So, you told me about your favorite team, and I have a pair of tickets for their next game and thought you might enjoy going."
  • "You said you love food and are learning to cook, so I saw this ad for a one-night cooking class on Saturday afternoon and thought it would be fun to try it out. Think you'd enjoy cooking a special dish together?"

Be Yourself at All Times

The most important approach when asking for a second date is to be yourself. Don't play games or pretend to be something you aren't. Such games and tricks never fool anyone for very long. Just be open and act natural.

Timing of Asking for a Second Date

The timing to ask for a second date is a narrow window. If you delay too long, you'll lose the opportunity. Ask too soon, and you may be instantly rejected. Play games, and your first date will be your last date.

When to Ask for a Second Date

You should ask for a second date within two to five days of your first date. This timeframe shows a genuine interest in the person and conveys you enjoy their company enough to ask for a second date.

Teenage boy texting

How to Get a Second Date Within a Few Days After First Date

If you decide waiting to ask for the second date is your best approach, then you can ask the following afternoon or evening after your first date. This gives your date enough time to assess whether the two of you have a connection and if they wish to have a second date. You may wish to wait until the second day after your first date to build up the suspense and not appear too eager.

Ask Between Two and Five Days After First Date

It's far more polite to ask within the first two days for that second date if you are truly interested in the person. This time span easily conveys your genuine interest in the person.

Should You Wait Five Days to Ask for Second Date?

If the person you dated is popular, then you probably shouldn't wait five days to ask for a second date; they will most likely have already moved on. Waiting five days just doesn't show a great deal of interest in the person. They could perceive it means you think they're just hanging around for you to ask them on a second date. They might feel slighted and reject you for being too slow to ask.

Dating Cultural and Social Dynamics

The timeframe to ask for a second date can also be influenced by your culture, region, social circles, and dynamics within your own peer group. Consider these influences when making plans to ask for a second date.

Upcoming Event or Celebration

One thing to keep in mind when planning to ask for a second date is any upcoming community or event/celebration. If there is a community event or a festival happening within a few days or a week of your first date, you may want to ask for that second date sooner than you normally would. You should be aware that other people may also ask your date to the event/celebration, and you could lose your opportunity for a second date.

Determining the Right Time to Ask for a Second Date

There are several things you want to consider when deciding the right time to ask for a second date. Culture, community, social circles, and upcoming events can influence the best time to ask for that second date.

How to Ask for a Second Date at the Right Time