How to Talk to Girls at Parties Confidently and Comfortably

Published July 1, 2021
Laughing girls talking in a party

Massive bashes may be roaringly fun, but they don't offer the best environment for getting to know someone. It can be really difficult to make a romantic connection with someone when there's loud music, dancing, and drunken shenanigans to distract the two of you. If you've struggled with figuring out how to talk to girls at parties in the past, take a look at some of these helpful tips to make you feel confident, and to put the woman who's caught your eye at ease.

How to Approach Women at Parties

Ultimately, the first point to master when talking to women at a party is how to approach them. If you're only casually familiar with the person you want to talk to, or a stranger catches your eye, then chances are, you don't have an immediate reason to start a conversation. Depending on your personality, here are a few different ways you can approach a woman at a party, that'll put you both at ease.

  • Cold Open - This is best is you're an extrovert and are boisterous enough to hold a conversation on your own for a few minutes while your partner adjusts.
  • Compliment Greeting - A perfect way to set a woman at ease is to offer a greeting and immediately follow it up with a compliment. Make sure your compliments aren't textbook, think of something unusual that can be used as a conversation starter, like noticing a custom pair of earrings or a cool, pop culture pin she's wearing.
  • Friend Introduction - Ask your friends at the party whether they know the woman you'd like to meet. Having a friend introduce the two of you can take some of the pressure off, so that your conversation flows naturally.

Choosing Your Location Is Important

You may be tempted to just start a conversation with the girl you're interested in wherever you find her, but that isn't always the best idea. If she's in line for the bathroom, you don't want to clog up the hallway with your ill-timed flirtations. So, if you find yourself in a poor place for conversation, gently ask her to move towards a better location like this:

  • "Do you mind if we move over to the next room? This one's getting super crowded."
  • "I'm so sorry, I just couldn't hear a word you said! Want to step out onto the porch?"
  • "Seems like the kitchen's finally free. Want to walk with me while I grab another drink?"
man approaching woman in a party

Keep It Casual, You're Not Committed

When some people get overwhelmed, they're likely to over share. Most parties aren't suitable for really deep philosophical conversations, so it's best to stick to lighter topics. Remember that you're not committed to the person you're talking to, so you need to focus on keeping the conversation interesting enough that they won't want to walk away to find someone else to talk to.

Give Her Some Space

If you feel the conversation is starting to fizzle out, don't push to keep it going. There's nothing wrong with taking a break; and at a party, there's so much to do and see, and so many other people to chat with, that you don't want to isolate yourself with one person. The worst-case scenario is that doing so can make you come across as desperate for attention or aggressive, and neither of those things are a good thing.

Balance How Much You Talk and Listen

Making conversation can be difficult when you're first figuring out someone's personality. A great way to keep the back and forth going for the maximum amount of time is to not monopolize the conversation too much, nor be so quiet that the other person is doing all the talking. When in doubt, you can always rely on a fun tale some people call a 'party story,' which has some humor and tells a little about your past adventures.

Don't Forget to Get Her Contact Information

After talking to a girl at a party, don't forget to get her phone number or her social accounts, depending on which information she prefers to give out. All your hard work in keeping up a good conversation in a great environment and not coming on too strong will go to waste if you end up never seeing this girl again. Therefore, make sure you remember to ask how you can reach her. Whether she gives you any contact information is a great indicator of her interest in you as well.

You're Supposed to Have a Good Time

Parties are meant to be fun; and you should have a good time talking to new people or old friends. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed by the prospect of talking to women, just take a moment to remember that parties shouldn't be stressful. There's always another bash around the corner, where you can practice your skills again.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties Confidently and Comfortably