Understanding INFJ in Relationships

Published August 21, 2019
young couple having coffee in restaurant

Having a good handle on what makes you tick can help you find compatible partners that will appreciate your natural tendencies. Insight into your own behavior can assist you in being the best partner possible and maintaining healthy relationships.

INFJ Characteristics

Those with INFJ traits prefer to spend time alone than with others, make decisions based on ideas and gut feelings, and prefer to be scheduled versus go with the flow. Individuals with these characteristics are naturally empathetic, are great listeners, and enjoy deep connections with others.

INFJ Traits and Dating

Within relationships those with INFJ traits are caring, compassionate, and supportive. They want their partners to feel loved and encourage them to achieve their goals. Always willing to offer thoughtful advice, those with INFJ traits are perceptive of other's feelings, and easily come up with solutions to emotionally challenging or morally based issues or concerns. Those with INFJ traits may feel nervous or timid about asking someone out who they don't already know fairly well. They may enjoy dates that involve listening to music, doing something artistic, supporting a social cause, and heading to an intimate setting.

Commitment and Marriage

Those with INFJ traits do well in committed relationships and marriage, although they may have a hard time finding a partner who can give them the deep, emotional connection that they crave. Those with INFJ traits value loyalty, respect, and relational intimacy.

Relationship Strengths

Those with INFJ traits make great partners that value deep connections and loving relationships. They go the extra mile for their partner and are encouraging, supportive, and thoughtful with their remarks and advice. They are wonderful at problem solving and use their emotional insight to provide feedback.

Relationship Challenges

Within relationships, those with INFJ traits may end up with a partner who steamrolls them and stifles their need for highly attuned connection. Finding a partner who is able to deeply connect with them is the best way for those with INFJ traits to feel like their true selves within a relationship. Because they are so naturally empathetic, those with INFJ traits may feel down about global or local situations and may take on a lot of responsibility when it comes to finding solutions. Prioritizing self-care can help them balance their highly empathic nature.

Compatible Personalities

Partners with compatible personalities will appreciate INFJ traits for what they are and see the beauty in their kindhearted nature. Compatible partners may still have their tiffs, but may have an easier time with resolution since they process information in similar ways.


Those with ENFJ traits are naturally kind, caring, and empathetic. They feel a strong drive to help others and make a difference in the world. They are quite similar to those with INFJ traits aside from preferring to spend more time with others than alone, making them a great potential match for each other.


Those with INFP traits are compassionate partners who enjoy listening and helping others find solutions to their problems or dilemmas. Aside from being more go with the flow, those with INFP traits and individuals with INFJ traits are quite similar in how they view the world. Both parties are willing to go the extra mile for their partner and deeply value connection making them a good potential pairing.


Those with ISFP traits are kind, considerate, and artistic. They enjoy soaking up all that life has to offer and are flexible with their day-to-day plans. Both parties are supportive of their partners and take their commitments very seriously making them a good potential match for each other.

Couple drinking coffee and talking

Challenging Personality Matches

More challenging personality pairings will tend to view the world in vastly different ways making it more difficult to connect and understand each other. These relationships may still work, but require both partners to have good insight and a deep commitment to their loved one.


Those with ESTP traits are highly energetic, active, and social. They enjoy the constant motion of their day to day and get a kick out of entertaining others. They prefer to keep life lighthearted and don't enjoy deep emotional connection. This could make them a challenging match for those with INFJ traits.


Those with ESTJ traits enjoy creating warm, structured homes with a solid routine. They tend to show affection through their actions and don't particularly enjoy deep emotional conversations making them a potentially challenging match for those with INFJ traits.

Communication Style

Those with INFJ traits can be slow to warm and prefer to connect with a small group of people who they trust. They are incredible listeners, are highly empathic, and are great at helping others work through challenging circumstances. In intimate relationships, those with INFJ traits like to connect deeply with their partner and discuss meaningful personal issues.

Understanding Your Natural Characteristics

Your unique personality traits will tend to work better with certain partners. Understanding what you like in a partner and how you see the world can help you communicate your needs to your current partner or find someone who you truly click with.

Understanding INFJ in Relationships