Funny Quotes on Turning 50

Updated December 18, 2019
Man handing birthday cake to women

It takes a good sense of humor and some funny quotes about turning 50 to mark a half-century birthday properly. Truly, the best way to age gracefully is to do it with a smile on your face, so find some funny quotes that resonate with you and celebrate your 50th birthday with a bang.

Funny, Original Quotes About Turning 50

What's funny about turning 50 may depend on your personal perspective. Hopefully, some of these original quotes will bring a smile to your face.

Humorous Quotes on Turning 50

These quotes will tickle just about anyone's funny bone. Share them, and maybe a few clean senior jokes, with the birthday honoree or anyone you think might get a chuckle out of them.

  • Turning 50 reminds me of that Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, except now we're getting closer to the nursing home and there's probably more tumbling down involved.
  • Age 50 is when you start using those number 10 candles on your birthday cake because they take up less space.
  • Your 50th birthday is where you can finally look back on turning 40 and wonder what the fuss was all about.
  • Look at it this way. You're not turning old at 50, you're turning vintage. And yes, that also means you're drinking a lot more wine to console yourself about getting old.
  • Turning 50 isn't so bad; it's admitting it that sucks.
  • When you're turning 50 and strangers ask how old you are, tell them you're 75 so they think you look wonderful for your age.
  • When you turn 50, all that walking around the grocery store to get the things you missed on your list the first time counts as exercise.
  • Age 50: When your joints start reminding you how old you are, but your brain doesn't want to believe it.
  • Relax, you're only 50. You've got 10 more years before it's time to hit the panic button!
  • So you're 50. Go needle people you know who are 60. Feel better now?
  • If you're really upset about turning 50, be thankful you're not counting it in dog years!
Celebrating 50th Birthday at Home

Funny Quotes About Turning 50 for Women

Women face some unique challenges after turning 50. Make sure whoever you share these quotes with has a sense of humor about reaching this age milestone.

  • Around 50, a woman develops the dual talent of laughing and peeing at the same time, and usually not on purpose.
  • Shopping at age 50 usually involves heading to Costco to buy wrinkle cream in bulk.
  • A lot of women finally have real poise by age 50, meaning a pack of Poise incontinence pads, not some bargain brand.
  • At 50, your child-bearing years have ended, but your child-bearing hips continue to spread like they never got the message.
  • Being a hottie at 50 means you still get post-menopausal hot flashes.
  • If you're worried about the way you look at 50, never look in the mirror with your glasses on. Problem solved!
  • After 50, you can entertain the grandkids by letting them play connect-the-dots with your emerging liver spots.
  • If kids make fun of your post-50 wrinkles, tell them you're turning into the Elephant Woman and then trumpet loudly to give them a good scare.
  • If you're worried about turning 50, stop and do a self-assessment. If you're a better person at 50 than you were at 30, stop worrying. If you aren't, gee, you've got real problems!
  • So you're 50. If some guy tries to tell you it's time for a facelift, offer to give his face a lift... with the back of a frying pan.
woman having a hot flash

Funny 50th Birthday Quotes for Men

Men also have a unique perspective when it comes to 50th birthdays. See if you chuckle at any of these quotes.

  • Congratulations on turning 50. You're almost a grown up!
  • You're finally old enough to use the F-word, so shout it from the roof top: I'm fifty!
  • Once you're 50, your LDL cholesterol numbers are probably higher than your golf handicap.
  • If you became a firefighter in your youth, you're fully qualified to put out the conflagration on your birthday cake when you turn 50.
  • You're 50. Time to make the switch from Just for Men to Clairol.
  • Age 50: when your hairline looks in the mirror and slowly backs away while you watch.
  • Once you turn 50, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the term "raising the dead" is Viagra.
  • Turning 50 is terrific... if you're a bottle of Scotch. If you're a guy with an expanding waistline and receding hairline, not so much.
  • Congratulations on turning 50. If your goal was to reach your heart attack-prone years, you've made it!
  • 50 may be the new 40, but it sure feels like the old 60 after a few hours shopping with the wife.
man riding child's toy

Famous Quotes About Being 50

It can't hurt to toss in a little wit and wisdom on reaching age 50 from a few famous people as well. Some are outright funny, others are a little droll.

  • "Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty." - Joan Rivers
  • "Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
  • "I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent." - Charles Caleb Colton
  • "The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot

Incorporating Quotes in 50th Birthday Celebrations

Know someone who is turning 50 soon? Here are some ideas for using funny sayings and jokes about turning 50.

  • Teen theme: Have a sock hop or a 50th prom birthday where everyone comes in elaborate formal wear. Make a yearbook style booklet with some funny quotes on turning 50.
  • Antique party: Frame some quotes and display them in antique frames.
  • Imitation is flattery: Encourage guests to come dressed as the birthday guest or bring objects that emulate that person. Guests could also wear their favorite age 50 hairstyle.
  • This is your life party: Tell guests to bring memories and funny quotes they can share with the group. Have them write the quotes on a T-shirt to present to the birthday guy or gal.

Reflecting on Turning 50

A 50th birthday is a wonderful achievement and something to acknowledge. Whether you celebrate with friends or take it all in privately on a quiet day, find a way to make peace with yourself and this new decade. After all, if everything goes according to plan, one day you'll have an even bigger birthday to laugh about and celebrate with some birthday quotes for turning 60!

Funny Quotes on Turning 50